am i a selfish bitch?

i realize that this sounds utterly ridiculous. really. i know.

sometimes i feel like my eating and exercising habits are just "mine", ya know?

i understand and completely support others' desires to better their lives, lose weight, and become healthy (not that what i'm doing is healthy), but when it comes to a teamwork type approach to it, it just doesn't sit well with me.

i'm all for helping others, my mom included, but i'd rather be encouraging her along than doing it alongside her for some reason. i don't mean it to seem like i think i'm better than her in any way. at all. it's just that i'd really rather do it in my own time.

maybe it's just because i don't want her seeing how unhealthy my exercising really is. how i completely over-work myself.

maybe it's because i'm afraid some of my bad habits will rub off on her.
or maybe it's because i'm afraid her bad habits will rub off on me. (the constant over-eating, always putting off going to the gym, making excuses, etc...)

i don't know.

i just kind of feel like a selfish bitch for some reason.